Monday, June 16, 2014

Superflying Doubt!

Photo by Anonymous Collective .  licensed under
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic
I've decided to break from my normal writing routine and try something different.  I usually blog in the evenings after work, but, lately, I've found that my fatigue level is too high in the evenings to do much of anything that requires concentration.  So, I'm taking a writing session away from working on the new Hemlock novel to write this.

It's important to at least nominally stay in touch with readers and interested parties via this blog.  I have to admit that my inclination lately has been to crawl into a hole and just write.  While that's potentially a good approach from a productivity standpoint, nobody is going to notice my books if I just write in solitude.  I have to get at least some exposure.  And this blog is one of the main vehicles I use for that.  Not updating for too long is probably a very bad thing.

So, here I am, in my usual lunch spot--untethered from the numbing fatigue of the evenings.  Now, I reflect on some of the recent happenings in my life...

I got stranded in Charlotte, NC recently and had to spend the night in the airport.  That was an interesting experience.  I was surprised and amused by the readiness people displayed to fall asleep in public amongst their fellow travelers.  Initially, it was just a few brazen souls asleep against the wall of the terminal concourse.  But, as the hours wore on and fatigue took hold, folks began to congregate in odd, slumbering clusters.  It had a primal quality to it--almost like there was a feeling of security in sleeping amongst the anonymous, adhoc airport tribe.

Eventually, I succumbed to Mr. Sandman myself.  I laid under a row of airport seats--which are cunningly crafted to prevent stretching out by all but those who are slender to the point of deformity.  Strangely, this partial cover made me feel a bit more secure falling asleep amongst total strangers.  And maybe that wasn't just a feeling.  Imagine, for a moment, that the airport terminal was assaulted by a horde of arena wrestlers descending on zip lines and then releasing at a height of twenty feet to superfly the hapless, sleeping travelers below them.  In that scenario, I--one of the smart ones--might have avoided being superflied because half of my torso was under a steel chair.  Or perhaps my wrestler would have been injured and my triumph of ingenuity would have inspired an angry counterattack by the suddenly awakened airport denizens!  Huzzah for planning!

Other than the airport incident, not too much has been happening.  I've had a few feelings of complete inadequacy as a fantasy author while watching Game of Thrones on HBO.  But, then, I came to the realization that Martin uses a technique that I employ--character simulation.  That realization felt like an unlikely validation of my approach to writing.  So, rather than rebooting my writing, I think I just need to stick with it and continue to improve.  Yes, you did read that correctly.  I did--for a fleeting instant of terrible self-doubt--consider not finishing the Hemlock series.  What a bullshit thought that was!  Not finishing a creative project is always the worst possible outcome--no matter what rationalizations you use to sugar coat it.  Sometimes it gets discouraging because I'm not getting the auto-magic exposure and sales I was enjoying for a few years.  But I figure it this way.  There will always be time for marketing--especially once I have a full series under my belt.  And then when I move on to my next project I'll have a back catalog.  How cool will that be?  Very cool.  So, yes, I'm human... I have doubts sometimes.  But, fortunately, I talked myself out of any rash action.  Ultimately, I love writing and I love the Hemlock series.  That's really all that matters.  And maybe having a writing routine is a little like sleeping under that row of airport seats.  It provides an important bit of cover when doubt tries to superfly you!